ive been saying “ill get off the computer in a sec” for the last 10 years
If we are spooning and I arch my butt into you there is a 1000% chance I don’t actually have to stretch and that I just want to feel your boner.
my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard
Mom: Mama? Ma? Mommy?
Baby: M..MY ANACONDA DON'T
the end is nigh
"Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist."-Pablo Picasso (1881–1973, Spanish)
what if you started making car alarm noises when people you didn’t like touched you
Well excuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu se me
DIME STORE: 1966 Batman and Robin Society Badge